Posted by: alainnneart | July 23, 2009

On the other side of Ok… ok at all in anyway….

There are roses on the ceiling.  NO really, there are roses on the ceiling.  This is what I am thinking as I am laying on an exam table.  I wonder to myself, is this what it’s like on the other side of the coin?  This is what my patients are thinking?

I am waiting for my “second opinion” from my doctor.  After all, I assume that I only had a slip of the mind.  There is no real lump in my breast.  It’s all part of my imagination.  Look what I do for Christ’s sake!  A little bit of paranoia is necessary to survive.

My doc comes in and smiles. She is an old friend from school  Her hands are warm as she pokes my boob.  It’s helped that I marked the area with a little blue X.  But all I notice, as we make small talk, is the roses on the ceiling.  Someone placed a postcard at the top in order to make these lovely “female” visits more beautiful.

“So,” I say, looking at my doc as she finds the place where I marked.  Her face is a poker face with a faint smile, “I am being paranoid right?  Fatty tissue, right?”

“hmmmm.”

Ok then, I will be quiet now and look at the flowers.

Eventually, I am over my exam and getting dressed.  I am not worried.  I have seen worse and this was nothing.  My doc comes in. “so nothing, right?” I ask, smiling.  She half heartily smiles. “Al, I need you to go and have a biopsy completed It’s the size of a marble and there is a history of breast cancer in your family….”

Of course the rest drones out.  I look at her.  I am shocked.  Certainly not me!  I am too young!  I am around cancer all the time!  NOT ME!!

So now we have to have a biopsy next week.

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Responses

  1. Al,
    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I’m sorry that you have to worry. 😦

  2. Have you read my post about Bright Pink? In case you haven’t and might be interested in education and support from people who have been there, click on the Bright Pink button in my sidebar.


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