Posted by: alainnneart | June 16, 2009

Shell shocked.

Shell shock: –noun Psychiatry.
a posttraumatic stress disorder occurring among soldiers engaged in active combat, characterized by excessive autonomic arousal, psychic numbing, and persistent reliving of traumatic experiences

I came into the cancer wing to find my favorite patient died. Shell shock is a good term for every emotion I feel right now. Fucking ovarian cancer. if you catch it early, you are lucky. but most people don’t catch it early and then are dead. It spread too fast. one day it was contained, next day it seemed to be everywhere, like an out break of hives. It his her liver, her kidney, up to the lungs and eventually to her brain. My friend is now gone. but she was just such a fighter that I never really thought that it would catch up with her.

too young. too soon.

I hate cancer.

“think I’ve got the message figured, another pilot down.”



  1. I’m so sorry. 😦 My grandma died of ovarian cancer this summer.

  2. My very strong, amazingly inspiring best friend has undergone an incredible past year; surviving skin cancer, losing her teenage son to an accidental heroin overdose (suffering PTSD as a result of finding him), and now fighting the fight of her life over a mysterious lung ailment. Those who know her “just know” that she isn’t going to die (even though she very well could; she’s in ICU as I type this), but how can we really know? When people like your friend (and mine) die, it’s like a kick in the teeth of humanity, not just our selves. I’m very sorry for your loss.

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